Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
