So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
