shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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