Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
