i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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