Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
