but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
