i don't like sucking hair
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
