Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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