i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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