I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
