Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
