hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
