You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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