I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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