so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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