I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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