It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
