i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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