How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it glows. i had to have it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
