I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
