she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
