She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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