A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
