she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This house was built for laser tag.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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