her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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