maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have post one night stand depression
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
