My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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