whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
