we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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