Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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