Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
