did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
