We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
