The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
