brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the liver wants what the liver wants
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
