he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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