i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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