I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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