for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
