I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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