dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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