You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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