Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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