did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
