watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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