Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
