No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
