I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
