im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
