I'm so fucking centered right now
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
